The Day After/And The Day Before/And The New Day

, I am into my 74th year by tenth months, two weeks, and a few days day so there is a lot of, “day after’s” , that have passed. Which is why I like the quote above because it’s so easy to lose sight of a day after in the middle of a struggle.

Just the reminder of Sept 11th, 2001, that horrible day is a good example to think about how many mornings we have woke up since that fateful day. Every day, in the last 20 years we have woke up to a new day. Some of those days are filled with the memories of horrible events but some of those days are been good ones too.

There was time I did not think I would survive the abusive home I grew up in. Thank God there was a day after for that part of my life. God has healed those emotional wounds and used them to help others.

Getting married and having children was the goal of my life. For 12 years I lived with the loss of 6 children before I carried one full term and she survive. My day after was the most blessed day of my life.

 Some of us think holding on to our loss makes us strong, but sometimes it is letting go. – Herman Hesse

Remembering and holding on are two different ways of handling the pain of loss. Listening and reading testimony after testimony from those who lost someone on 9/11 was encouraging in this way. Most told of how they had went on with life, changed into a new normal. Of course they would wish those they lost back, wished that awful day did not happen. Of course. They’re days after, became something to thank God for, a day to be more loving, more aware of others, tp became focus in searching for a purpose for the rest of our days. There is a progression to loss and grief.

The bible is clear, there is a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance, and a time to die. Life goes on no matter how we deal with the pain. Our days when we mourned are some of the most teachable times we have. Our hearts are raw from the pain and we just want it to go away, for things to go back to what was before the hurt hit. If we live in the day our pain started and do not travel to the day after we will be miserable and those around us miserable too.

Loss and grief is a normal part of life and there is lots of helps from those who have lived past their pain. Loss escapes no one. Everyone faces some kind of loss as they journey through this world. There is no loss so great that God cannot reach and help us with.

Below are just a few books to help you if you are stuck in your grief.

Many of the books listed below can be found at UT Libraries. How to survive the loss of a love by Colgrove, M., Bloomfield, H. & McWilliams, P. Prelude Press (1993)

Companion to Grief by Kelley, P. New York: Simon & Schuster (1997).

When Someone You Love is Dying by Kopp, R. & Sorenson, S. Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan (1985).

When Bad Things Happen to Good People by Kushner, Harold Schocken Books (1981).

Learning to Say Good-bye: When a Parent Dies by LeShan, Eda New York: Avon (1988).

Remembering with Love: Messages of Hope for the First Year of Grieving and Beyond. by Levang, E. & Ilse, S. Minneapolis, MN: Deaconess Press (1992).

Mind over Mood: Change How You Feel by Changing the Way You Think by D. Greenberger & C.A. Padesky (New York: The Guilford Press, 1995).

Seven Choices: Taking the Steps to a New Life after Losing Someone You Love by Neeld, E. New York: Delacorte (1992).

How to go on Living When Someone You Love Dies by Rando, Therese New York: Bantam (1991).

Beyond grief: A Guide for Recovering From the Death of a Loved One. by Staudacher, C. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger (1987).

Necessary Losses by Viorst, Judith New York: Fawcett Gold Medal (1986).

Understanding Grief: Helping Yourself Heal by Wolfelt, Alan Muncie, IN: Accelerated Development (1992).

The Journey Through Grief by Wolfelt, Alan Ft. Collins, CO: Companion Press. (1997).